


Physics Error #36

by Solarcat



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-28
Updated: 2010-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-07 23:11:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solarcat/pseuds/Solarcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>The fully indexed and cross-referenced database of all the scientific errors in </i>Wormhole X-Treme!<i> serves no actual purpose whatsoever (except to make Rodney feel better that at least </i>someone<i> noticed all the ways in which the show got it wrong, wrong, </i>wrong<i>), but everyone needs a hobby.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Physics Error #36

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ocelotspots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocelotspots/gifts).



"I thought they had _consultants_ for this!" Rodney's hand flails around in the air between John's nose and the laptop screen. It's the thirty-sixth 'egregious display of ignorance about physics' in the new season premiere of _Wormhole X-Treme!_. (New to Atlantis, anyway. The DVD set had come in on the latest shipment of non-essentials on the Daedalus, and John had snuck the box out while Lorne wasn't looking.)

"For wormhole physics?" John asks, with just a hint of sarcasm.

Rodney looks affronted. "Well. No. I suppose not."

"But look at that!" he exclaims after another few seconds, "You can't do that! The amount of radiation--"

"I know, Rodney."

"But--!"

"I _know_."

The truly infuriating thing about it, Rodney thinks, is that Sheppard actually _does_ know, which is why watching _Wormhole X-Treme!_ with him is both enjoyable and exasperating at the same time.

He notes the scene and the way in which it has defiled the good name of physics. The fully indexed and cross-referenced database of all the scientific errors in _Wormhole X-Treme!_ serves no actual purpose whatsoever (except to make Rodney feel better that at least _someone_ noticed all the ways in which the show got it wrong, wrong, _wrong_), but everyone needs a hobby.

Sheppard's hobby seems to be trying to rationalize the stupidity of the show's writing staff.

"Look, there, you see?" John gestures at the screen, "If they hadn't done that, they wouldn't have been able to find the Multiplier hiding in the ventilation system!"

Rodney scowls. "They would have been able to find it _anyway_ if they just--"

"No, they wouldn't," John argues. "They said last season that it wouldn't work--remember, when Major Monroe was trying to make a scanner to detect the Multipliers that had infiltrated the city with all the orange people?"

"That's--" Rodney stops. "You can't use one stupid, non-scientific plot point to back up another non-scientific plot point! That's _cheating!_"

"Is not." John retorts, wearing that _I-am-very-deeply-and-personally-wounded_ look that had long ago _completely ceased_ to work on Rodney. Really. "It's internally consistent!"

"I hate watching this show with you." Rodney says, though he doesn't really mean it and John knows he doesn't really mean it.

"You don't."

"I really, really do." Rodney writes up error thirty-nine in his notebook.

"Well, then, I'll just have to make it up to you." John smirks at Rodney, that self-satisfied, cat-who-knows-where-the-cream-is-and-is-waiting-for-you-to-look-away expression that makes his eyes go all glinty as he pointedly looks Rodney over from top to toe.

Six seasons of _Wormhole X-Treme!_, and Rodney had gotten familiar with this expression sometime around mid-season four, but somehow he's still surprised by it, every time.

On screen, Colonel Danning is taking out Multipliers with an energy weapon that Rodney has already proven could never function in a rational universe. In Rodney's quarters, Colonel Sheppard is taking off his shirt, leaving his dogtags to rest against his skin and shine when the light catches on them.

The show plays on, but Rodney's notebook and pen fall to the floor about the same time that John takes Rodney's cock in his mouth, and errors forty and up will have to wait to be recorded.


End file.
